Word to that.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

In 2010, teenager Brittany McMillan started Spirit Day as a response to all the LGBT youth that had taken their own lives that year. It has now become an annual event as GLAAD is encouraging those in the U.S. to wear purple on October 20th as a sign of support for LGBT youth and to speak out against bullying. This year, GLAAD approached The Marin Foundation to co-sponsor this national event, which we are happy to do to get the message out there that bullying is wrong and should never happen in any context.

While Spirit Day and wearing purple (and turning your Facebook profile picture purple here and Twitter profile here) may seem like a small gesture to some, it could mean the world to closeted and openly LGBT youth in your everyday and online social circles who may be going through a difficult time because of the perceptions and harassment they face as a result of their actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender identity. Showing a visible sign of your support can help to let LGBT youth know that they are not alone while personally making a statement that you will stand up to harassment and derogatory language aimed at LGBT youth.

While it is important to stand up to and speak out against bullying for any reason, it is quite apparent that we need to be intentional about specifically combating bullying and harassment directed towards LGBT youth as research shows that they are disproportianately affected, and combating bullying for any reason in general will not address the underlying issues bringing this specific type of bullying about.

• Nearly 9 our of 10 LGBT students experienced harassment at school in the past year and nearly two-thirds felt unsafe because of their sexual orientation (GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2009). LGBT students that were polled were three times as likely as non-LGBT students to say they did not feel safe at school (GLSEN From Teasing to Torment 2006).
• Students that identify as LGB are bullied two to three times more than heterosexual students (Nationwide Children’s Hospital, Columbus, OH 2010).

It shouldn’t surprise me anymore when socially awkward and scared people in real life become the boldest person ever behind a keyboard.

It’s their cover for living a real life that actually makes a difference in other people’s lives. They do it because it’s the best, and most efficient way to be gutless without any repercussions. It’s a way to say things that they know they could never, ever say in real life because they don’t have enough dignity and self-worth to do it any other way.

That is why loving people for real is so hard. It has to happen in-person over a significant amount of time.

Anybody can critique from the outside. Have at it… and me.

I’m not opposed to being critiqued. I fully believe in constructive dialogue. In fact, that is what I try to model every day of my life. But it’s another thing to be backstabbed, hated on, blamed, accused, lied about, etc. Don’t publicly ‘accuse first and ask questions later’ and expect me to constructively respond.

Besides not being opposed to constructive criticism, you know what else I’m not opposed to?

Being loved.

And the difference between me and these cowardly keyboard people is that I am actually loved by real people in real life in real time from all different shades of the cultural, sexual and religious spectrum. From the far left to the far right. From gay to straight to post-op transgender to celibate. From rich to homeless. From black to white to asian to Latinos to Native Americans. Why? Because I care enough to love them in-person over the long haul with no strings attached.

At the end of the day the unfortunate reality is that they’ll keep pimping their pretend life while I keep living my real one.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org 

A few days ago the BBC World News featured the work of The Marin Foundation in written and audio form! Above is a screenshot I took of the BBC’s home page on their website… And that’s us as the feature story! It’s been crazy since it went live. We have gotten tons of folks reaching out from all over the world. This impact of our story is being felt! It’s such a humbling thing to have happen, and it’s definitely surreal to know that our bridge building message is getting spread across the globe through the most internationally trusted media company in existence. Just unreal.

You can read the full article here

You can listen to the 30 minutes segment the BBC ran on us here (and you have about 30 days to download it to keep it if you want)

Yesterday I got an email from the BBC and they gave me the following, crazy, update about our stories since they went live:

—Our radio segment (which has also been featured throughout America on NPR) is the most listened to segment of any from the BBC World Service

—Our radio segment is the most downloaded segment of any from the BBC World Service

—Our article is the 2nd most shared article of any story on any of the BBC websites

—Our article is the 3rd most read article on any of the BBC websites

I have to thank Christopher Landau so very much. He was the producer of the segment, as well as the writer of the article. Christopher was the one who fought for this story to be done! Even after some higher-ups said no to his initial proposal, he kept at it over almost 1 full year (!!!!) before they finally said yes. And now look what is happening! Brenda and I first met Christopher while I was speaking in London earlier this year. He had read my book when it first released in 2009 and as he said, “kept it in the back of my head to do a story on it for just this time.”

I’m not the most trusting person when it comes to media folks… They never seem to quite tell the truth in how they are going to present or edit something. But Christopher did exactly what he said he was going to do. A stand up man. A balanced journalist. And now a person ever so dear to not only my heart, but the millions his work has reached around the world.

Just absolutely amazing what the Lord is doing with this.

No matter the outcome, faithfulness always wins out.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

My great friend Kelly Pope gave me this in much needed encouragement:

Teddy Roosevelt was speaking to a group of students in France at the Sorbonne (University of Paris), and this is part of what he had to say to them:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the one who points out how the strong person stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the one who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions; who spends themselves in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if they fail, at least fails while daring greatly, so that their place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Be Bold and Much Love.
Andrew

www.themarinfoundation.org

There has been quite a stir recently about the question of how far is too far?

Northwestern psychology professor Dr. Michael Bailey has gotten into some really hot water recently as a live sex act was performed in an after-class optional lecture for the students in his widely popular Human Sexuality class. About 100 of the 600 students in the class stayed after to witness a naked woman having a dildo (attached to a chainsaw contraption) inserted in and out of her by her male fiance – who often publicly speaks about kinky sex (though obviously not so often in public university settings). You can read the article here; which also has an exclusive video interview with Bailey.

The fall-out from this ordeal has been intense, to say the least, as you can see here. My thoughts? I know Michael Bailey personally. He is a great guy (which for some doesn’t necessarily make what happened right) who is literally concerned with only two things:

1. That his students get a real life education about sex, sexuality and all of the things that 99.9% of the people in a university classroom setting won’t touch with a ten-foot pole (PS – Just because the majority is scared to breach such topics don’t mean they’re not real or happening everyday!)

2. That he researches those things that no other researchers will touch with a ten-foot pole because they think it will cost them all of their precious funding.

Worldview enhancement. He’s all about it. And it’s hard for people to grasp Michael’s work because they are looking at him, his research and his class through their lens … not his. In all of my life I don’t know if I have ever met a more what-you-see-is-exactly-what-you-get person than Michael Bailey. For that, I am truly grateful for the genuineness and authenticity of who he is.

Two things I would like to point out though, just in case you don’t read the full article: 1) Not one student complained after the fact to either him or his Teaching Assistants before during or after the fact; 2) Bailey didn’t know this act was going to be performed before the presentation started. He let it continue because he questioned himself, why was his initial reaction when the act started of nervousness as well? Was it because the act is taboo or because he was scared he would get in trouble? I honestly believe Bailey’s intentions are true.

So what do you think? Was it right of him to allow such a thing to take place at Northwestern University? How far is too far in your mind?

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

A few weeks back The Marin Foundation was called by a Catholic church in Chicago. They were calling because they got word that a gay activist group was going to be protesting their church on behalf of all the LGBT people who don’t like the Catholic church’s stance on gay marriage. Over the last few weeks we have tried to work as best as we could to help set up a private discussion between the Catholic church and the activist group. That private discussion never happened – and it wasn’t because The Marin Foundation wasn’t willing…

When the day of the protest arrived an interesting thing happened. An anti- same-sex marriage organization from the suburbs showed up and started protesting the protesters. It was a freaking mess. Who does that? What good is coming out of protesting a protest?

It’s like two dumb, blind donkeys walking in circles in the dark threatening each other with nothing other than the smell of their own butts.

There are few things that get me more heated than people on both sides of this topic who, for no greater good at all, stifle peaceful and productive dialogue that produces reconciliation by only wanting to hold nasty signs at each other and yell in their stupid megaphones.

You should have seen the ridiculous scene at that church: People coming in and out of mass met on the church’s steps by hateful LGBT people with signs and megaphones and then looking two feet in the other direction and a group of hateful conservative Christians with signs and megaphones protesting the protest. And not one person in either of those groups had any personal connection to that Catholic church. Amazing. Here’s a quick letter to the protestors:

Dear Protestors Who Believe You Are Doing The Right Thing,

You are not doing the right thing.

Jesus said that wisdom will be proved right by her actions. If Jesus’ words are true, then you all must have not a drop of wisdom in you. Try investing even a quarter of the amount of time and energy you currently use to promote dissent into seeking dialogue and relationships of ‘loving your enemy’ and watch how productive you can actually be. I guarantee it will be a zillion times for productive and you won’t even have to go to all of the trouble to do so much coloring of signs.

And to those conservative Christians there protesting—I have a hard pressed time even believing you are a Christ-One (literal definition of Christian). God says to Isaiah:

“These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men. Therefore once more I will astound these people with wonder upon wonder. The wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish.”

And to those LGBT people there protesting—you think your signs and megaphones make one ounce of difference to that Catholic church, The Catholic Church or any of the people in it? You don’t. You just look like hateful idiots who are solidifying the Church in thinking they’re doing the right thing.

Next time, instead of picking up your sign pick up your phone and schedule a time to sit down with ‘the other’ and have a conversation focused on trying to understand each other.

Much love.

Andrew

www.themarinfoundation.org

This morning my good friend Adam McLane posted these profoundly truthful words on feeling like a hypocrite. When I read it I quickly remembered a series of conversations I’ve recently had. Before I get into those let me tell you this, even if some may disagree:

I am intentionally, and with a humble spirit, trying my best to live as faithful of a life to God and to others as I possibly can for as long as I am here on earth.

But just because that is my goal doesn’t mean it’s always (or even sometimes) a reality. Therefore because I cannot live up to my standard of life, by default, at a baseline level I am a walking hypocrite. Let’s be honest though; “by default” is only the starting point of my hypocrisies that daily occur. Back to the recent conversations…

In the past eight days I have had three different Christian people ask me in private at separate times if I ever feel like a hypocrite. They asked because they are all leaders in their churches and have recently been feeling like their good intentions to live a successful life is wearing on them. They have to lead each day and preach each week, and each said they felt some type of unknown burden or oppression about having to set some type of ”successful” life for their congregations to look-up to. These pastors are struggling with shame and guilt and doubt like the rest of us. But because of who they are they feel like they can’t keep it real all of the time – especially in front of their churches.

That is the problem with church culture today.

We’re setting up believers in Jesus to fail.

From my personal life, I talk in public so much that many people from all over the place call/email/Facebook/tweet/look up to me; asking me for advice and help and a new way forward. Like I have all the answers? I don’t. I try as best as I can to faithful keep moving forward whether sprinting forward or hanging on by the skin of my teeth. And the way I try to live my life and therefore, answer all of those questions, is to keep it real.

Because let’s be honest again … I’m a walking hypocrite.

I prayerfully wish I had the strength and courage to always practice what I preach. I don’t. I prayerfully wish I had some supernatural power to not get so pissed when I feel stabbed in the back. I don’t have that either. I prayerfully wish I always thought the “right” thoughts – pure and holy on a number of different topics. As much as I seem to try, it never quite works out. I prayerfully wish I had the drive to read the Bible and pray for hours on end everyday (let’s throw physical exercise in that category too). Not so much. I prayerfully wish I had to the ability to take-back a bunch of situations where I’ve deeply hurt people, whether intentionally or not. But that’s not going to happen. I prayerfully wish I could have a Jamba-Juice-style-brain-memory-boost to remember things better and more rightly, so that I would never be embarrassed or ashamed or nervous to speak about my memories. Well, nothing points to that happening either.

I carry a bunch of guilt and shame and doubt everyday of my life. And it scares me to death that I’m leading folks in the wrong direction. It’s been really hard for me to ‘get up’ to teach recently (not normal for me!) because all I want to do is honor God through my actions and my words while simultaneously honoring all of humanity in the same breath; which I know I’m trying to do, but in a God-fearing way not sure I actually ever accomplish.

But the more I think about it the more I am coming to a new conclusion I’ve never thought about before:

You will never feel like a hypocrite if you’re not intentionally, boldly and sustainably living a countercultural faith in real-time in the public. (and by “public” I’m not referring to media or blogs, I’m referring to your own life, family, friends, co-workers and community)

Here’s the kicker: That’s why it’s so easy for the critics and gatekeepers out there to point a finger at those of us who are. It’s because they legitimately don’t feel like a hypocrite because they’re not living a distinct life that puts them in situations where the real-time juxtaposition of life, faith, action and reason all come together in one big cluster-f&%*. And it’s in that moment that the humbly faithful feel like a hypocrite.

Yet it’s in that same moment that you know you’re living the right way. Even if you, or especially I, might not believe it.

Call me a hypocrite then. I’m going to now claim it anyway.

Are there times, and what are they, when you feel like a walking hypocrite?

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

I am fighting back the strong, strong urge right now to write about an ongoing situation in my life that is a real big deal to me, my educational future and my work. When the time comes all of the details will be released. Or not. I don’t know. I want to, but I’m trying really darn hard to be “the bigger man” in this whole situation. But if the other entity keeps trying to play everyone stupid by retroactively continuing to label their actions in an unharmful, favorable way for them, I don’t know if I can keep my mouth shut any longer. For now, I will.

Your prayers for my heart are more than appreciated. I have so many very strong feelings of anger, betrayal, pain and an ever-growing hatred toward this entity that I need to catch myself now before I do something I will regret. As my wife is telling me, I need to move forward in a manner not based on revenge (which it would be if I wrote about all the details right now) but based on a level head focused on justice – with the appropriate steps, representation and documentation in place. So that is what I am going to try to do right now.

Below you will find some fitting lyrics that I listened to last night on my way to our Living in the Tension Gathering before these new developments dropped. Hope these lyrics impact you as much they did to me.

“I’m not afraid to take a stand. Everybody, come take my hand.

Yeah, it’s been a ride. But I guess we need to go to that place to get to this one.

We’ll walk this road together through the storm, whatever weather comes along. Let you know you’re not alone. Holla if you feel like you’ve been down the same road.

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay them. But you won’t take the sting out these words before I say them.

Cause there’s no way I’m going to let you stop me from [standing up].

When I say I’m going to do something I do it. I don’t [care].

What do you think? I’m doing this for me? … I’m going to be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly …

Ok. Quit playing with the scissors, and cut the crap.

You said you were King.

You lied through your teeth …

And all those who look down on me I’m tearing down your balcony.

No if ands or buts; don’t try to ask me why or how can I. ”

Eminem: Not Afraid

The other one is a song that touched me deeply when I was in middle/high school in the mid 90s and strangely enough speaks clearly to this current situation: Mr. Wendal by Arrested Development

“Here, have a dollar, in fact no brotherman here, have two. Two dollars means a snack for me, but it means a big deal to you.

Be strong, serve God only, know that if you do, beautiful Heaven awaits. That’s the poem I wrote for the first time when I saw a man with no clothes, no money, no plate.

Mr.Wendal, that’s his name, no one ever knew his name cause he’s a no-one. Never thought twice about spending on a ol’ bum, until I had the chance to really get to know one. Now that I know him, to give him money isn’t charity. He gives me some knowledge, I buy him some shoes.

And to think people spend all that money on big colleges, still most of y’all come out confused.

Mr.Wendal has freedom, a free that you and I think is dumb. Free to be without the worries of a quick to diss society for Mr.Wendal’s a bum. His only worries are sickness and an occasional harassment by the police and their chase. Uncivilized we call him, but I just saw him eat off the food we waste.

Civilization, are we really civilized, yes or no? Who are we to judge?

Mr.Wendal has tried to warn us about our ways but we don’t hear him talk.

Is it his fault when we’ve gone too far, and we got too far, cause on him we walk?

Mr.Wendal, a man, a human in flesh, but not by law. I feed you dignity to stand with pride, realize that all in all you stand tall.

Lord, Lord, Mr.Wendal”

Let all of those words speak for me right now.

Much love.

This morning I woke up and had four Facebook postings on my wall waiting for me, all from a guy who said following (and yes, these are the actual messages):

“You are a false prophet leading others into hell. Everyone needs to turn away from Andrew Marin now. The Lord is coming and will not have mercy on Andrew’s soul.”

“Andrew Marin is afraid of the truth. He took down a post that I posted on his wall by John MacArthur talking about how to recognize a false prophet. Andrew, you are leading your followers away from Christ and leading them to a life of sin. You cannot claim to be a Christian and preach a false gospel. I encourage all followers of this fraud to flee away from him quickly.”

“As a Christian you have an obligation to defend the faith against false doctrine. Andrew is leading other (so called) Christians astray by telling them it’s ok to be gay. He has also become a false idol for others to worship instead of the Lord. I will not be posting again. I only hope the Lord will have mercy on his soul for his crimes against God.”

[But then he did post again. Funny how that always happens…]

“Even the devil can quote scripture. Andrew Marin is not a Christian and neither of are any of his followers. You promote a homosexual agenda that Christians should accept, when that is clearly contrary to the Bible. Marin either denounces homosexuality or he worships it. The last word, is God’s word.”

And then someone named Matt commented on my blog post that I talked about potentially having cancer by saying:

“Hell is waiting for you.”

So I’m just wondering, where in the world do these people come from? It’s quite interesting because also in my inbox was another message; a message from a lesbian. She said:

“Hey, I wanted to personally thank you for what you are doing. My aunt who was incredibly against my “lifestyle” came home from Lifest after hearing you talk and now understands me a lot better and show a lot of love not only for me but also for my friends. This is a woman who talked to me when I first came out and said I need to change and be straight otherwise I am going to hell. I never thought that she would love me. And I owe it to you. Thank you! And thank you for everything that you do. You are an amazing person.”

I’m not writing all of this to say woe-is-me or pat myself on the back. It’s just crazy to me that so often the first Christian response seems to be ‘hell’ and the first gay response seems to be a respect for helping other Christians see the response is not ‘hell’. So sad.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

I’m tired of the excuses of conservative Christians and their organizations that say the publicity of the recent suicides, and trainings for LGBT bullying in general, are to promote the ‘gay agenda.’

Wrong.

They are to dignify human life – whether one agrees doctrinally or not.

Just like Jesus did to the institution he came to subvert.

So many of these conservative entities fight very strongly against abortion. The reason? To protect human life.

What is different about this situation then?

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Before I get any further into this series, I think I should define what I understand as an enemy, hater and critic.

Enemy: The dictionary defines an enemy as one that is antagonistic to another. I actually don’t see that definition suitable for what I believe is an enemy. The dictionary definition of an enemy actually sounds more like what I would call an annoyance. I, however, define enemy in these three ways:

A person, group or entity that is intentionally committed to opposing you, no matter what the circumstances.

A person, group or entity whose sole goal is to win by beating you to a loss.

A person, group or entity that uses violence against you.

Hater: According to the Hip Hoptionary, a hater is: A jealous person, or, one that cannot be happy for another person’s success to the point of only picking out perceived flaws. I like that definition as I think is quantifies a hater well. However the problem is that another person’s motives are impossible to judge (e.g. ‘jealous person’). They are speculation at best. Therefore here are my definitions of a hater:

A person, group or entity that is only ever negative about you, regardless of how many times you have either reached out or tried to more thoroughly explain yourself.

A person, group or entity whose intentions are not sustainable peaceful engagement, but rather quick bandwagon insults that are thrown as they turn and run away.

A person, group or entity that uses lies, name calling, exaggerations, insults, etc to either ‘expose’ you or launch a grenade hoping you will blow up. Haters are also known to drag in your family, friends or others you know who are not directly involved, as either pawns, or targets of their hatred.

Critic: The dictionary definition is: One who forms and expresses judgments on the merits, faults, value or truth of a matter. That about sums it up. Though I do believe there are two types of critics under this definition—constructive critic and obstructive critic.

A constructive critic is one that engages with you forthrightly (e.g. seeks out your responses in dialogue before going public), allowing you to be a part of the discernment process, before a public judging of the merits, faults, value or truth in a matter. The outcome is secondary in this situation.

An obstructive critic is one that publicly creates their own judgment on the merits, faults, value or truth of a matter first, and then retrospectively ‘attempts’ to include you after-the-fact. The outcome (judgment) is paramount in this situation as it sets and dictates the tone for the relationship there onward.

These are my working definitions for Enemy, Hater and Critic.

What are yours?

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org